Weekend Report: Still illin'
It's Day 4 of Eric's DeathWatch '08, I completely missed the Chinese New Year, and I'm still sick. That's the bad news. Or, if you work with me and haven't seen me since Tuesday, it's good news. The better news, however, is that I seem to be on the up and up. Either that, or the pills I'm taking have altered both my physical state and mental clarity. I did see a unicorn yesterday, but the CVS pharmacist didn't want to hear it.
Speaking of CVS pharmacists, I think that if you're going to work as an in-store alternative to a real doctor, you should have some abilities that go beyond talking on the phone and reading back drug packagings to customers who are seeking advice. I asked "which of your two recommendations is better, this Tylenol or this TheraFlu?" (By the way, TheraFlu seems like a total sham; anyone could crack open a NyQuil and drop it in herbal tea.) She responded "okay, let's see... this one says coughing, fever, sore throat, and this one says the same thing but without fever. Do you have a fever?". I expect such shoddy service from Duane Reade or Meineke, but not you, CVS. Not you.
Anyways, on Wednesday, I had just had a rough cough, sore throat, and body aches. It were them dang aches that sealed the deal and kept me home. When I woke up Thursday morning, and throughout most of the sleepless night before, I had developed a high fever. So now, I had the exact same symptoms as my coworker, who had been out sick earlier in the week who sits next to me. He said the whole thing only lasted two days, so I figured on Friday, I'd be able to swing at least a half-day in at work. I guess I got the more hateful strain, because Friday morning was even worse than Thursday. When I woke up and saw the cable and internet were acting weird, and I walked over to the cables and leaned over slightly for a closer look, I almost passed out. In all likelihood, I would've cracked open my skull on the radiator and when they eventually found my body, clothed in choo-choo train pajama pants and a "Celine Dion '99 Tour" t-shirt, the sadness of my life would then be completely apparent: I had died trying to get online.
This image freaked out my shizz, so after fueling up with the awesome power of coffee, I bundled up and hit the streets for some medicinal relief, sweating like a plantation farmer in July. If I got high, Friday probably would have been a good day to do it. Or a terrible day, I'm not sure how it works. But instead, I turned to the legal kind; that is, less potent, more expensive, and brought to us by the puppetmasters of our government. One incident with a wannabe doctor and $17 later, I schlepped home and popped two shiny, teal plasmoids labeled 'Tylenol Cold, Severe - Day'. Within minutes, my fever was gone, which is to say, it was suppressed, which is exactly why I avoid crap like this in the first place. The drugs don't make you better, they just alter your state to make you feel better. That's all well and good. I'd be a hypocritical lover - lover - of alcohol if I said that was such a terrible thing. The difference is that the minute you pill-pop, your brain has diverged from your body, you've lost the ability to really know how well you are, and you continue intake for days. With alcohol, unless it's your birthday, Arbor Day, or the primaries, intake doesn't last long, and you recover quickly. Unless you're like me, and need an hour with the shrink following the usual Beer #4 Cry- & Shame-Fest.
So as of Saturday morning, my fever is much lower; our fancy new thermometer is showing my typical 99.0 body temp. (Hot-blooded Irish-Italian, baby! Slap it on a bumper sticker!) I'm still congested with a mild sore throat, which I can deal with. But all of this is predicated on my continual medication over the last 24 hours. 8 Tylenol Day pills and 2 Tylenol Night pills in, and I have no idea what state my body is really in, other than it's packed with Mexican food and the Tylenol has probably decimated my kidneys. I would have preferred to ride this out without the meds, but then I also would have preferred to never have been infected in the first place. At least I have my cute nurse with me (I'm making her wear a nurse costume). She's stuck working from home - again - which works out, because I get out of having to escort her shopping, and now she gets to stay inside, clean up soggy tissues, feed me extravagant meals, and sponge me down every hour. See how great this relationship is?
The only other necessity of the weekend is picking up additional meds for Biscuit - who is doing pretty good overall - and my bike, which I'd be more excited about if I were able to actually ride it. I'm sure once I recover from this blasted virus, I'll ride to work and get hit by a taxi. Year of the Rat, I condemn thee.
Reviews
Books
After the Quake:
Eric: "Murakami has quickly become one of my all-time favorite authors."
Movies
The Education of Shelby Knox:
Eric: "Firecracker and rabble-rouser Shelby should be praised for her efforts, as well as her parents. Strangely, there were not as many characters or situations that infuriated me as I thought there would be, though it's still a sad situation in Lubbock, TX."
Star Wars, Episode III - Revenge of the Sith:
Eric: "The last 30 minutes or so of Episode III almost make up for the previous 7 hours of prequel crap. But not really."
Amber: "Luke and Leia are twins, and children of Anakin, who is also Darth Vader? I haven't been paying attention."
Speaking of CVS pharmacists, I think that if you're going to work as an in-store alternative to a real doctor, you should have some abilities that go beyond talking on the phone and reading back drug packagings to customers who are seeking advice. I asked "which of your two recommendations is better, this Tylenol or this TheraFlu?" (By the way, TheraFlu seems like a total sham; anyone could crack open a NyQuil and drop it in herbal tea.) She responded "okay, let's see... this one says coughing, fever, sore throat, and this one says the same thing but without fever. Do you have a fever?". I expect such shoddy service from Duane Reade or Meineke, but not you, CVS. Not you.
Anyways, on Wednesday, I had just had a rough cough, sore throat, and body aches. It were them dang aches that sealed the deal and kept me home. When I woke up Thursday morning, and throughout most of the sleepless night before, I had developed a high fever. So now, I had the exact same symptoms as my coworker, who had been out sick earlier in the week who sits next to me. He said the whole thing only lasted two days, so I figured on Friday, I'd be able to swing at least a half-day in at work. I guess I got the more hateful strain, because Friday morning was even worse than Thursday. When I woke up and saw the cable and internet were acting weird, and I walked over to the cables and leaned over slightly for a closer look, I almost passed out. In all likelihood, I would've cracked open my skull on the radiator and when they eventually found my body, clothed in choo-choo train pajama pants and a "Celine Dion '99 Tour" t-shirt, the sadness of my life would then be completely apparent: I had died trying to get online.
This image freaked out my shizz, so after fueling up with the awesome power of coffee, I bundled up and hit the streets for some medicinal relief, sweating like a plantation farmer in July. If I got high, Friday probably would have been a good day to do it. Or a terrible day, I'm not sure how it works. But instead, I turned to the legal kind; that is, less potent, more expensive, and brought to us by the puppetmasters of our government. One incident with a wannabe doctor and $17 later, I schlepped home and popped two shiny, teal plasmoids labeled 'Tylenol Cold, Severe - Day'. Within minutes, my fever was gone, which is to say, it was suppressed, which is exactly why I avoid crap like this in the first place. The drugs don't make you better, they just alter your state to make you feel better. That's all well and good. I'd be a hypocritical lover - lover - of alcohol if I said that was such a terrible thing. The difference is that the minute you pill-pop, your brain has diverged from your body, you've lost the ability to really know how well you are, and you continue intake for days. With alcohol, unless it's your birthday, Arbor Day, or the primaries, intake doesn't last long, and you recover quickly. Unless you're like me, and need an hour with the shrink following the usual Beer #4 Cry- & Shame-Fest.
So as of Saturday morning, my fever is much lower; our fancy new thermometer is showing my typical 99.0 body temp. (Hot-blooded Irish-Italian, baby! Slap it on a bumper sticker!) I'm still congested with a mild sore throat, which I can deal with. But all of this is predicated on my continual medication over the last 24 hours. 8 Tylenol Day pills and 2 Tylenol Night pills in, and I have no idea what state my body is really in, other than it's packed with Mexican food and the Tylenol has probably decimated my kidneys. I would have preferred to ride this out without the meds, but then I also would have preferred to never have been infected in the first place. At least I have my cute nurse with me (I'm making her wear a nurse costume). She's stuck working from home - again - which works out, because I get out of having to escort her shopping, and now she gets to stay inside, clean up soggy tissues, feed me extravagant meals, and sponge me down every hour. See how great this relationship is?
The only other necessity of the weekend is picking up additional meds for Biscuit - who is doing pretty good overall - and my bike, which I'd be more excited about if I were able to actually ride it. I'm sure once I recover from this blasted virus, I'll ride to work and get hit by a taxi. Year of the Rat, I condemn thee.
Reviews
Books
After the Quake:
Eric: "Murakami has quickly become one of my all-time favorite authors."
Movies
The Education of Shelby Knox:
Eric: "Firecracker and rabble-rouser Shelby should be praised for her efforts, as well as her parents. Strangely, there were not as many characters or situations that infuriated me as I thought there would be, though it's still a sad situation in Lubbock, TX."
Star Wars, Episode III - Revenge of the Sith:
Eric: "The last 30 minutes or so of Episode III almost make up for the previous 7 hours of prequel crap. But not really."
Amber: "Luke and Leia are twins, and children of Anakin, who is also Darth Vader? I haven't been paying attention."
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