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With a whimpering Fringe and a DOF (dead on finale) Lost, I had been toying with the idea of going back to re-watch the forever classic The X-Files from the beginning but was overwhelmed by nine whole seasons.  While the entire show and practically every episode is fantastic, I wasn't too keen on re-watching so many of the stand-alones.  (For example, I liked the "Rain King" episode - aka Valentine's Day ep - but I don't need to sit through it again.)  I pretty much only wanted the main conspiracy plot.


good buddy tipped me off to them over Memorial Day weekend.  Spanning 4 sets of about 15 episodes per set, the Mythology collections include only the overarching X-Files conspiracy plot episodes.

Naturally, I pulled up Netflix to see if they carry the Mythology sets specifically.  They don't, but they do carry every season of the show.  And the coup de grĂ¢ce: they're all available over Netflix streaming.

So here is your complete list of The X-Files Mythology episodes, aka My Summer Alternative to Going Outside:

  • Pilot
  • Deep Throat
  • Fallen Angel
  • EBE
  • The Erlenmeyer Flask
  • Little Green Men
  • Duane Barry
  • Ascension
  • One Breath
  • Red Museum
  • Colony
  • End Game
  • Anasazi
  • The Blessing Way
  • Paper Clip
  • Nisei
  • 731
  • Piper Maru
  • Apocrypha
  • Talitha Cumi
  • Herrenvolk
  • Tunguska
  • Terma
  • Memento Mori
  • Tempus Fugit
  • Max
  • Zero-Sum
  • Gethsemane
  • Redux
  • Redux II
  • Patient X
  • The Red and the Black
  • The End
  • The Beginning
  • S.R. 819
  • Two Fathers
  • One Son
  • Biogenesis
  • The Sixth Extinction
  • The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati
  • Sein und Zeit
  • Closure
  • En Ami
  • Requiem
  • Within
  • Without
  • Per Manum
  • This Is Not Happening
  • Deadalive
  • Three Words
  • Vienen
  • Essence
  • Existence
  • Nothing Important Happened Today
  • Nothing Important Happened Today II
  • Trust No 1
  • Provenance
  • Providence
  • William
  • The Truth

* The first movie - The X-Files: Fight the Future - was released on June 19, 1998**, between seasons 5 & 6.  For continuities sake, you may want to take a break mid-show and watch the movie.  (The second movie is too atrocious to say anything about it other than: avoid it at all costs.  It has nothing to do with the mythology anyway.)

** I remember this day vividly.  I hurriedly rushed out of an already-doomed AP test to go see the very first showing, at 11:50am.  It was very worth it, I had no chance on that test, which was also basically my very last high school anything.  Good times.

Happy summer, fellow X-Philes!

Entertainment Tiger Uppercut

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By my count, since 2001 there have been no less than 30 various movies, books, and TV seasons of (very popular) vampire-themed stories, to say nothing of the hordes of lesser books and direct-to-DVD movies.


A dozen different plot lines, all with the same boring bloodline.  And on their heels, a new TV show (The Vampire Diaries - also based on a book series), book (The Strain - yet another trilogy), and movie (Daybreakers - with trilogy potential / likeliness, and bonus oil metaphor!).  All within a year, all their own separate new universes.  Great for the fang-bangers, but wasted space for those of us bored out of our skulls.

Between the endless faux-goths and massive preteen mobs, I can understand the demand for the genre, but I didn't realize how big a business vampirism entertainment really was.  From the list above, the movies alone grossed over $600,000,000 - so why not suck the bones dry, right?  I mean, Let The Right One In was really good, but it was in fucking Swedish.  Remake it in English now.  As much as the missus and I enjoy True Blood, it's opened her eyes to the fact that her previously beloved Twilight series is nothing more than a plot-by-plot rip-off of Harris' source material.

The frustrating part about this plague is how much creativity is being wasted on such tired material.  I'm not the biggest fan of horror, but I love science fiction and, to an extent, fantasy.  The vampire thing has the ability to straddle all three really well (I think that's why I find True Blood so entertaining).  Unfortunately, most vampire vehicles are too-simply driven either by a human killing vampires (mild successes), a vampire killing vampires (moderate successes), or a human-vampire love story (jackpot! see you at Hot Topic).

Strip out most of the fantasy elements and practically all of the sci-fi and you've essentially got zombies, which are apparently the new vampires.  Which makes sense, since I'm groaning like one right now.

Second verse, same as the first:

Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, and Shawn of the Dead. ...and then Dawn of the Dead again.  28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, 28 Months Later.  Dead Rising, Dead Rising 2, The Dead Are Still Rising, Hey Look More Dead Rising Again!, Are The Dead Still Rising?, The Rise & Fall Of The Dead, Dead Falling, and Dead Rising: Resurrection.  World War Z the book was turned like Blade, and now it's a movie.  Left 4 Dead 1, Left 4 Dead 2, and presumably Left 4 Dead 3 - but not Left 4 Dead 4 BECAUSE THAT'S TOO MANY FUCKING 4'S!!!  Resident Evils 1-18, and oh no 2009 isn't yet super-super-saturated, so why not Dead Snow, Zombieland, and Breathers.

It's a Sixth Sense situation: the poor genres don't know they're dead.  Can you imagine if someone like George Lucas did this to his fabled stories, constantly retreading the same ground, squeezing every last drop out of his creative?  Why you'd throw away your Yoda backpack and Indiana Jones whip, and start wearing all black, make-up, mumble melodrama like "life is pain", and form fake blood pacts in your parents' basement.

And then pre-purchase a dozen New Moon tickets four months in advance.

Update: I missed one.  Apparently CBS tried out a series last year called Moonlight, involving vampire detectives.  It failed, but they're discussing a movie anyway.  As much as I'd like to chalk this up as an indicator of the genres downward trend, it was probably just another standard CBS casualty: ignoring their viewer bases of octogenarians and "people who like to laugh".

About

Eric Tabone is Operations Manager at the digital strategy consultancy, Undercurrent. He lives in Brooklyn, New York with his awesome wife and two kick-ass cats.

All original opinions and commentary throughout this blog (comments excluded) are Eric's alone, and do not necessarily represent Undercurrent in any way.

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